Ok, so your kid is having another tantrum and it’s driving you up the wall. The screaming, non stop whining and kicking and wriggling all over the floor is just unbearable. You try your best to stay calm and you remind yourself that there’s probably a reason behind it. You do whatever you think will stop making her cry and whine. You try distraction. It doesn’t work. You try suggesting a fun activity. It doesn’t work. You try turning on her favorite show. It doesn’t work. You’ve tried every trick up your sleeve, you’re exhausted and you just can’t handle it anymore. You’ve reached the end of your leash and your temper gets the best of you. Now you’re yelling at your kid. Did it make the kid stop crying? No. Not only that, it just made the tantrum worse. How do you feel? Horrible for yelling at your kid when you know they are probably just tired and sleepy or hungry. So what do you do now?
I’m not going to lie. This sometimes happens and I’m not a perfect parent. But when I do, I apologize to my child. To me, it’s very important to openly communicate with my child. We need to explain to our children how we feel, what upset us and make amends. I do this with my kids all the time. (Not that I yell at them all the time! Lol!) Once the situation has simmered down and the kid has calmed down and stopped crying. I speak with my child in a calm and caring way. I get down to her level and give her a hug and say, I’m sorry for yelling at you, but you were being ridiculous. I’ve read another article and it said not to say “but”. Again, I’m not going to lie. This is what I say. All I want from my child is understanding, that we understand each other. Ever since I’ve been being honest with my child, now she says sorry to me. She will say to me, sorry mom for giving you a hard time. Or she will say, I’m sorry for not listening to you. I was so surprised with my child’s behavior. I didn’t expect her to start saying sorry to me. It just seems so mature for a 3 year old to own up to her behavior.
So what I’ve learned is, if you are honest to your child and encourage open communication, your child will in turn be open and honest with you! Have you done this with your child? If you haven’t try it and see if it works for you!